Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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