Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
