We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
