yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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