I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
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I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
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He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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