im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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