Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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