needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
