grandma shit on top of the toilet
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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