North Korea, Best Korea!
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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