I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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