Kiss
Puke
im drinking this country out of the recession.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize