I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
