Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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