u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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