3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
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Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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