I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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