How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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