PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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