It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
