It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
