put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.