Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(440): View more from Ohio

Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.

Fav 23 3836 965
share tweet
(614): View more from Ohio

Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.

Fav 19 1059 5819
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(410): View more from Maryland

pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...

Fav 35 7109 995
share tweet
(734): View more from Michigan

she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story

Fav 12 6598 1049
share tweet
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(504): View more from Louisiana

I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.

Fav 42 2669 7575
share tweet
(660): View more from Missouri

Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...

Fav 12 4623 1353
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"

Fav 9 1733 4209
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(281): View more from Texas

that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.

Fav 18 2169 1177
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(423): View more from Tennessee

I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.

Fav 0 153 72
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT