Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Please. i have SOME standards
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.