You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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