Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?