No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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