let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
