Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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