Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
