Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She bit a glass in half.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
