i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I did not marry a roomba.
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