ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just blew my weed a kiss
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
