No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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