If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
