At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
