I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
