wat bout pragnant strippers??
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
