No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize