1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
don't judge my taste in strippers
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
