I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
