perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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