There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
