One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He has the fingertips of a God
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