i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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