I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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