do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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