I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
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