i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
