she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
either way he was missing a nipple.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.