Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?