just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.