Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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