Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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