Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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