that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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