is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
