Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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