I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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