Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We need a shit load of segways right now
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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