it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
