My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
