Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
