And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
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You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
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It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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