I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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