shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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